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I read something oddly appropriate tonight - an article, which really read more like a rant - debunking the theory of "nice" guys. It started out somewhat bitchy, but as the author got to her point I started to realize that I almost entirely agreed with her. Occasional small jabs aside, she mainly put forth that the average "nice" guy is simply a guy who lacks the balls to be direct and make a move. Instead, he acts friendly towards girls who interest him in a roundabout way to get laid. Then, when nothing happens, he whines about the lack of action in his life.

Now I can't say that I've never wondered why no one seems interested in me, or that I've never chickened out and let an opportunity pass me by (though boy, did I regret it later). On the other hand, I think of myself as not a "nice guy" because I don't do things to be nice. I'd like to think I'm friendly, and I like to be there for my friends, but that has nothing to do with being interested in them.

The problem with all of this comes when I start thinking too much about things. And I inevitably do. Most likely, I start to think about what is likely to happen before I even start anything. For example, the most common way that women have found me attractive is by being friends first. This by itself isn't a problem, but then if I am interested in someone I don't know, it is hard for me to know how to go about it. When I just ask a girl to dinner, things have a way of not going anywhere. Also, the transition from friendship to relationship can be much more smooth than trying to forge a relationship from scratch.

No matter how tantalizing to consider, all that stuff is just an excuse that lets me indulge in being afraid. Whether it's fear of rejection, fear of losing friends, or fear of things actually going well, I need to get over it. This little article, accurate or not, told me what I needed to hear. I have to stop waiting for things to happen and take some risks. After all, fear is the only thing I have to lose.